- April Fool Messages and Prank Texts
- Flirty Text Messages for Her That Will Melt Heart
- Funny Retirement Wishes, Messages and Quotes
- 50+ Funny Wedding Wishes, Messages and Quotes
- 50+ Funny Good Night Messages and Wishes
- 70 Funny Get Well Soon Messages, Wishes and Texts
- 80+ Funny Valentine Messages, Wishes and Quotes
- 100+ Funny New Year Wishes and Quotes (2021)
- 100+ Funny Christmas Wishes, Messages and Greetings
- 50 Out Of Office Messages and Emails
- Funny New Job Wishes and Messages
- Christmas Wishes For Friends
I am feeling so excited to let you know that I’m getting married on the 32nd of March this year. I’ll be so happy if you attend the ceremony.
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. Good night!
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. Happy Valentine's Day to Me!
Good luck with your new job, and do not let them fool you. I hope you will be wiser than before.
Whoever said Valentine's day is only for lovers? I love you my best friend! Happy Valentine's day.
“Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of this day - the birth of Santa? - Matt Groening
I have fallen in love with someone else, and I am thinking of finally telling you everything about it on April 1st. So that you don’t take this matter seriously!
Have a tremendous New Year while giving everyone a hard time apart from me. Cheers to that.
I’m not out of the office. I’m ignoring you.
Anyone who believes that men are equal to women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Best friends are the apple pie of desserts. They already beat out all the competition. Merry Christmas.
It is interesting to note that when people are giving you retirement gifts there is always a watch or a clock as if to tell you that your time is up. Have a time free retirement.
Happy retirement hubby. I'm happier on your retirement than you. At least you have no excuse to make time for me.
Scientists have discovered that fat people appear to be slim when they look at themselves through the mirror from a distance of exactly 3 feet. The news of this groundbreaking discovery came on April 1st, last year!
Even though you assume you are perfect, do get some New Year’s resolution and work on them. Love ya.
So flippin’ excited to spend this Christmas with you. Can’t wait to make some funny moments with you.
Today, don’t believe if someone says ‘I love you’ to you. Everyone will try hard to make you fool today because it's so easy to make you a fool!
“When you retire, you switch bosses — from the one who hired you to the one who married you.” - Gene Perret
You are too young to go to a club and have a drink and too old to expect gifts from Santa. In fact, you just don’t fit into the joys of Christmas!
Marriage marks the end of a love story and the start of a wrestling match. Wishing you the very best of everything anyway.
Want to know my plan for today? Getting you arrested for stealing my heart. Happy valentine’s day, my love!
Thanks for contacting me. I am currently unavailable at the office mail. I am sure to return back on [date]. Till then, enjoy the holiday!
Unfortunately, I will be out of the office from dd/mm to dd/mm. For immediate assistance, you are requested to contact me at [email]. Enjoy your workday!
Nothing can take you from us, as long as you have unfinished work in the office. Get well soon. Everyone is waiting for you to make a comeback!
Thank you so much for the free food and drinks, I will always say my prayers to God for you. May He bless you at the beginning of the end for you. Congratulations, and good luck with everything.
Before our relation, you told me you ain't got time for valentine’s day. Well, I’ve just realized that you lied about that. Happy valentine’s day anyway!
“The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.” - Groucho Marx
“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald
“Mix a little foolishness with your prudence: It’s good to be silly at the right moment.” - Horace
I hope you make a revolution of losing 20 pounds in the coming year and gain 30 pounds more instead. Wish you a New Year full of positivity!
No sickness in the world has the power to keep someone as strong willed as you down. Get better soon.
Your eyes have the ability to raise a tsunami into the calmest sea. Has anyone ever told you what could it do to man’s heart?
Congratulations on leaving the job and not getting fired after missing so many deadlines!
You just needed a HUGacetamol and a KISSpirin to get well. You are sick because you miss me so.
Congratulations to a lazy-bone like you for completing work-life! Finally, you can go back to being your true self.
It’s New Year’s Eve! Time for fireworks and treats. Just be careful though, Be safe or you’ll lose a finger or two. Have a wonderful new year!
I hope this year ends up with your smiling selfie to see on the Facebook posts. Wish you a bright and joyful New Year!
I want to hold you and then kiss you just to check if you are actually made of sugar. Because you are so sweet!
Now and again I believed that you are some sort of strong, however now I realize that you are human as well. Get well when possible.
I hope when Santa comes at midnight, he brings you wrapped in a box as my Christmas gift! That would make a perfect Christmas for me this year!
There are so many ways of getting fat and fluffy, lying in a hospital bed isn’t just one of them. So please get well soon and get off of it.
I’ve run away to join a different circus. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Loretta’ instead of ‘Steve’.
May you be showered with love, happiness, and joy this Christmas. Merry Christmas, dear.
I wish you a Happy Valentine's Day with all my heart, and lungs, and liver, and spleen…!
If I forget to bring presents for you, keep your doors open. Santa will definitely come with a box of chocolates. Merry Christmas!
Dear friend, I absolutely refuse to listen to your ranting about your lack of sleep tomorrow so don’t be annoying and sleep on time! Goodnight!
Congratulations on being noticed and getting head counted. May you shine in your new office and make everyone jealous, love.
We are miles apart but our hearts are strongly connected…. Such is our friendship that no distance can impact. Sending you love and Christmas cheer!
I can see a lot of beautiful girls around me. But a beautiful lady is rare. I’m glad I have met a beautiful lady like you in real life, not in my dreams!
Babe, if you don’t go to bed right now, no hugs for you tomorrow! So be a good boy and have a tight sleep! Good night to you!
Feel free to let your toes peek out from under the covers. No boogeyman will dare to come out with me right beside you. Bed bugs? Not with me around. Sleep well, my lovely!
Who said bosses have to be scary? Seeing you, I’ve come to believe that bosses are not only scary but also frightful!
Santa left batteries under the tree with a note that said “Due to cutbacks, toys not included.
I have developed a fever yesterday and today I’ll not be available at the office. Leave your message here so I can reach back to you as soon as I recover. Sorry for the inconvenience!
A job is a contract in which an employer promises to pay and the employee promises to do what it takes to get paid. Good luck with your promises.
I wish I could reciprocate more, but I cannot help but keep thinking about you now and then. Have a good day ahead.
Congrats on the new chapter of your life. Do not cry at the corner after making a foolish decision. Celebrate this happy day, dear friend.
Two become One: one bed, one remote, one bathroom! Congratulations on your union as life partners!
Getting married is like becoming a child all over again. Be prepared to learn where to put your towel, how to keep the bathroom clean, and organizing your clothes in the closet. Congratulations.
Where could I find a best friend like you? Not at the North Pole, that’s for sure. This year know that the best gift in my life is a best friend like you. Merry Christmas.
The true magic of Christmas is when you make my savings disappear without me realizing what happened. You’re truly a blessing in disguise of a wife!
Merry Christmas! Do you know that Friendship is like a turd? No matter where you are or what you’re doing, a bit of it is always there inside you.
This holiday season I would like to raise a toast to our friendship and the epic bond that we share. Thanks for sticking by. I love you so much. Wish you a Merry Christmas, dear.
I have been missing you so much for so many days that it has started to get a bit boring now. please get well and come back soon!
To my best friend: nothing could ever undersell my enthusiasm for you, not even Christmas itself. Have a merry one.
Make all lies of the job application true. Have fun working, darling. I bet you will own the new job.
Even though I am trying hard to fall asleep, your thoughts are keeping me awake. I hope you are experiencing the same.
“True love comes quietly without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” - Erich Segal
Seeing your performance over the years you’ve worked, I’m sure that you’ll be very good at doing nothing!
Good luck with wishing people unrealistic things from someone who doesn’t even exist. Have a great Christmas this year!
I don’t mind being a security guard while you’re dating as long as you’re paying for me being drunk & grabbing some hookers from the club.
May you have a prosperous year and write me an amount of cheque. Paying hard for this miracle to take place. Love you to the moon.
In the circus of life, you may have lived like a lion so far. But your wife, the new circus master will tame you into a domesticated cat in no time. Good luck with your tight rope act.
If this workplace were a hell, which it is, you’d be one of the greatest devils of it, and you’ll be missed.
Petitioning God for your fast recovery. Show signs of improvement soon or I’ll break your legs once more. Simply joking dear, get well soon.
Oops! Ouch, I fell from the bed Trying to reach my phone just to say sweet dreams to you. Good night and Sleep tight.
Cheers to another year of resolution you would meet halfway through, but sweetheart, I would love you anyway.
Your retirement hurts me; not because you’re leaving, but because of the worry that what if the next boss also happens to be like you?
Have some faith in me, this year just like the previous ones- I will be your partner in crime.
Breaking News! Scientists have confirmed the outbreak of a new virus that may affect people of all ages worldwide right at the beginning of April this year. Once attacked by the virus, patients cannot sleep without closing their eyes. Be very careful!
May you have the grace and wisdom to act kindly, learning to distinguish between what is personal and what is not. May you have good friends to mirror your blind spots.
If you can say APRIL without your lips touching, you are, in fact, one of the few people who can never be fooled on April 1st. Try it now!
Hoping for your complete recovery, because I don’t want to come to the hospital for a second time!
Congratulations on your wedding day… I haven't bothered buying you both a present. It would just be something else to fight over when you get divorced!
If you feel a little stressed and worried, bite the tip of your middle finger. It’s a scientifically proven trick of anxiety management, especially effective for April fools around the world.
“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.” - Joey Adams
May all your healthy life habits get stored in your mindset and bring you perfect results. Happy New Year, love.
Your mobile is about to blast in 10 seconds. 10 9 8 7 6 5 3 2 1 0…………… still alive? Must be from china!! Happy April fool!
Valentine's day is the perfect day to tell you those 3 special words… Let's get naked!
You have no right to get sick. Remember, you are my hero? You are supposed to be strong.
May you learn how to use your brain better than never in the upcoming year. Best wishes.
The sun is red, the sky is blue, I cannot stay happy, without disturbing you. Goodnight my love.
Life is short and every new year makes it even shorter. Happy new year! You just waved goodbye to one more year of your short life!
You really give me that teenage feeling of being in love. You can really be my first love because I’ll erase every memory of the past to start a new life with you.
Congratulations for your retirement. Now you will be forced to work on a never-ending project that will take up all your time and it’s called – Doing Nothing.
Don’t let everyone’s loving words fool you; I’m the only one in the office who is going to miss you.
I smile like a fool whenever your name pops on my phone. This is a whole new experience, and I’m enjoying the butterflies on my stomach.
“Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” - Mark Twain
Welcome to the old man club. It's time to gossip about joint pain, high bp, sugar level, and Et cetera Et cetera.
The nurse that looked after you the other day was really beautiful. I hope she has a beautiful heart too. She will definitely get you recovered soon!